I Want STRONG

I have been thinking a lot about the recent surge of "proud to be fat" articles I'm reading. Check that, maybe they are more "embrace your bodies" articles... In any case, I've been reading them, sharing them, loving them. I think they are inspiring to young (and older) women when there is so much negative, body-shaming media out there. Then, I got to thinking, "Why do I want to lose weight?" I don't care to be skinny, I don't need my ribs showing, I certainly have no particular occasion for which to lose (believe me, I tried to make my upcoming California trip a reason...FAIL), I think I already look good naked (not that anyone else is looking), so why is it that I want to lose weight body fat? I feel that I am beautiful as I am. I don't hate my body, there are parts that I'm not comfortable showing, but most of those parts are the same ones I didn't show off when I was a slim, fit teenager with superior body confidence anyway...so, why?

I have thought long and hard about this question and have come to one very valid conclusion: Because I actually LOVE my body and I want to have it be good to me for a long time.

I have had some health issues this summer. Nothing really major, but still all major frustrations. I planned to have a fit and active summer, all summer long. I wanted to go hiking and kayaking and learn to use a kettlebell and play soccer and kickball and meet people and make new friends (Mom says, "You can never have too many friends!" Thanks, Mom, for your eternal optimism.) Well, my aspirations started to go to hell in April, when I tore the meniscus in my right knee. Soccer was supposed to start at the end of April, so I was out. After 6 weeks of physical therapy, I was healed and ready to go! Unfortunately, soccer was over. Then weekends got busy and I began to see my other aspirations fade away. What? Summer's not over! You still have time! Nope. The Sunday after July 4th, I went swimming in the lake with some good friends. We had a great time and I felt good about it. That night, however, I came down with a fever. This fever recurred over the next three nights, but I still managed to recover and make it to work in the morning. Fever, chills, body aches, sore throat, fatigue, all viral per the doctor. My depleted immune system then allowed me to breakout in cold sores. Then, I got a full body rash. I stayed home for the entire weekend, while friends went out and celebrated birthdays and reunions. You could say it definitely knocked me on my ass. It was that weekend that I saw my doctor and she told me to chill out completely. No more exercise whatsoever for 4-6 weeks to recover from my many viral illnesses! I'm not even aloud to power walk! I decided 4 weeks would be enough to recover. Two weeks into this suspension, last Sunday, I landed in the emergency room with the worst case of stomach flu I have ever had by a long shot. Saving you the details, have you ever read books about men dying of dysentery on the battle fields of the Civil War? (or any war, really) It was a lot like that. I called off work Monday - Wednesday and was of very little help on Thursday and Friday. Though I'm feeling better, my stomach is still quite temperamental. I will also be tacking on those extra 2 weeks to my suspension. 

In conclusion, this summer has not turned out the way I wanted it to at all. I've spent more time convalescing than anything else, at least it feels that way. This brings me back to the beginning and why I want to lose weight and exercise: I don't EVER want to go through a summer like this again! I want to be strong and have a strong immune system. I want to nourish my body with good, protein and vitamin-rich foods and I want to challenge my body to lift heavier and heavier things and become more flexible to reduce the risk of injury. I want to be able to play soccer and hike and even do some rock climbing if I feel so inclined. I love my body and I want it to be strong (not thin, thin is incidental), I want STRONG.

Just three more weeks...